Mother Nature's Monthly Gift

Remember when you were 13 years old and you dreaded having your period during the school week? It was the most embarrassing natural occurrence EVER. To make it less embarrassing you brought your purse to school to hide all the feminine products. Now, this was definitely a clever idea. No one would ever know when you had your period. I mean, you only brought your purse to school one week out of every month. Whose clever idea was that?

Some women, like myself, feel like they have a meeting with the devil one week out of every month, or every other month. You watch the biggest loser and the fat person who gets eliminated makes you cry. How could you send a fat person home to only allow them to go and eat more hamburgers? You get mad at the traffic light for turning red because, clearly, it has a mind of its own. Sometimes I even growl at my computer when it takes too long to load. Every human you come in contact with annoys you, even when they breathe. Zits start popping up in weird places-you have hot flashes- you want to sleep constantly. Uh-oh, for some women, who actually know what being "active" means, (thats not me) this could be easily mistaken for signs of early pregnancy. Then you start to freak out like O-M-G I haven't had sex in a year, but I think I am pregnant. Your friends tell you thats impossible. Your friend starts to make up baby names for you-funny. Then you make your friend buy you pregnancy tests at the store because you don't care if its embarrassing for her because you don't want to be embarrassed. Then you realize you are really childish and if you cannot buy your own tests then you should not be doing things that can make a BABY! END OF RAMBLE

Now I throw tampons in my purse like its lip gloss. No biggie. Oh, let me just get out a pen..WHOOPS that's a tampon! It's funny that such an awful experience is called a gift. However, some women may actually get excited when this gift comes. Some women even pray for their monthly gift. PLEASE GOD, I want to keep drinking martinis-I don't want to buy diapers! So, in some cases getting your period is almost like a holiday. Now, nothing like this has ever happened to me because I'm saving myself. No, I am not saving myself for the right guy or for marriage...I am SAVING myself FROM men.

Moral of the story- Every day a gift is given, one less OOPS baby is made.

Stereotypes-"I would never do such a thing!"

What is a stereotype? Well, by definition a stereotype is a commonly held public belief about specific social groups, or types of individuals. You always hear people say "Oh, I am definitely not prejudice...I never use stereotypes!" By definition, if you are prejudice, you make a judgment about an individual or group of individuals on the basis of their social, physical or cultural characteristics. So, if you think you are never prejudice and that you never stereotype groups of people, ERRR you are WRONG. YES, you do. I hate to burst your bubble, but this entire country and probably entire world uses stereotypes.

I would like to share a few funny examples from my life. As most of you know, I am white. For those of you who are surprised, SURPRISE!! I am French, Italian, Scottish and Irish. Most of you also know that I have an extremely bodacious booty (hard to miss). Now, when I go out to the club I often get asked the same question.."So what are you?" Well, first of all, I am a female. "No, like what is your heritage?" Ohhh, that is what you meant! So, I always ask the same question. What do you think I am? I usually get the same answer every time-Spanish, Hispanic, Latina, Mixed. Most of the time I just say nope, I am white. One time, however, I asked the QUESTION. Why do you think that? The answer, well-you have a BIG butt, there is no WAY you are white. BAM-first stereotype: White girls can't have big bootys.

Example number 2-

I like to dance. Actually, I love to dance. When music comes on I'm probably bobbing my head. When I was 8 I got a really important role in a musical. My job was to stand in front of the group of people, who obviously had no rhythm (ironic since it was a musical), and snap my fingers to the beat so they could follow. When I was 9, my favorite show to watch was MTV's "The Grind"- Good parenting mom (haha jk)! Let's just say I learned some of my best moves from that show. When I was 3, I apparently already knew how to strip? Unless my mother was secretively a stripper ( which, if you knew my mom this would make you laugh), rhythym has always run through my blood haha. So, Let me get to my point of this story. When i go out and bust a move, yes, bust a move-people are SHOCKED I can dance. Wow, you can really dance for a WHITE girl. Stereotype number 2: White girls can't dance.

Most of you have learned from writing research papers that it is never ok to use all, every, the entire population etc etc. because it is bias. It is okay to say most, several, many and some. So, the next time you want to stereotype just add in a word...For example- It's funny that most southerners only eat fried chicken. Boom, you're in the clear.

In conclusion, not all mexicans like to eat tacos, not all asians are chinese and not all athletes are cheaters.

(P)lenty (O)f (F)riends in the Sea

So, many of you know I currently live in a city where I lack a job and friends. Many of you don't know about a site called POF-(I bet the creators of this site will love me after this blog..FREE ADVERTISING).

POF stands for PLENTY OF FISH. No, its not a fish market. No, its not a pet store. YES, it is a dating site. I know, I know-I am not 30. My biological clock is still ticking and I do not own 400 cats. There are hundreds of men and women on the site. So, the next time someone stumbles when they talk about meeting their significant other, or suddenly can't remember where they met...YES, they met online. Come on people, you were not drunk when you met and if you were it would be nothing MORE than a one night stand. Am I right? haha

The men are so classy on this website. Unlike match. com and Eharmony, this site is FREE. Ladies, if he wants to date online, but cannot afford a month of match.com, he will probably forget his wallet on the first date he ASKED you on. Most of the men have an occupation of: making money, paper chasing, aspiring song writer, Ask me, I make a living, and I have a job-Very Intriguing, I know. Some men are looking to date, but nothing serious and some men are looking for an activity partner-charming. Most men will send you mentally stimulating messages such as: you are so sexy, I love your curves, Hi Beautiful and Why are you still single? Why am I still single-good question, if I knew, I would probably not be single. Also, it could be because I meet men like you. However, this site is not only a place to meet men, but a place to meet friends. Now, most of the men on here are looking for a different kind of friend, if you know what I mean. So, why not look for chicks on this site? A little weird, but hey, another social network to meet people. RIGHT?

I mean, I could go on facebook and start friending every girl that looks somewhat normal that lives in GA-normal meaning she looks like she likes shoes, clothes, taking pictures of herself and acts like me. BUT, that is socially unacceptable. When a random person, especially a girl, tries to friend me I'm like who is this WEIRDO...This must be some random person posing as someone else just to try to look at my STUFF. I mean, none of us have ever done that before (cough), but, everything is possible.

Although facebook friending every normal girl on facebook is socially unacceptable, messaging random chicks on POF is definitely acceptable. Lets just hope they don't think your trying to hit on them!

Ok, lets get to the point of this story.

Recently I met a girl on POF and we are going out tomorrow night-So far she has all the prerequesites..She likes shoes, clothes and looks like she likes to have fun..just like ME! However, I was telling a guy friend that I met a girl. Of course I was excited because I like to have friends. He acted all surprised. He said, a girl? Are you guys going out for real for real. I was like yah, we're going to have a few drinks. Then he said, wow you are crazy and mental! Crazy and mental because I want to have friends? Then he said I just didnt know you were into girls. OH lawd NO!

That's when I decided I needed to create a site called Plenty of Friends.

Tennessee Bound

So, this weekend I am heading to Tennessee to see my parents. This will be sort of like a mini vacation. Not only will I get to eat pizza, but I will probably get to witness my mother being extremely sweet due to the fact that she has quit smoking. Go Mom-stay sweet!

Tennessee is about 3 hours away...not too shabby. I figure I'll wake up, work it out, then head to Tennessee. Not that I ever whine to my dad, but, I think this weekend I might whine to him a little bit. Now that its like 78 in Atlanta, its getting pretty cold. I think I might need a pair of boots. BRRR im freezing over here in this cold weather. I mean, I never lived in NH or anything.

On another note..I was watching Jersey Shore the other day and Angela was homesick. Her friend came to visit her and brought over some clothes that Angela's mom bought for her. When Angela handed the phone to her mother, the mom asked whats up? The friend said, I think she misses you. The mom goes...well, do you think the dresses were too tight. WHY is it that women always think sadness comes from fatness or clothes that are too tight. OH, I know why..because it sucks being a fat woman. haha-that just made me crack up because its a typical womanly statement.

Thoughts

Predicaments. Decisions. Torn. Undecided. Unsure. Clueless.
Atlanta.New Hampshire. Georgia. New York City. Barnstead. Boston.
Friends. No Friends. Job. No Job. Couch. Air Mattress.
Like. Love. Settling. Comfort. Distraction. Love. Like
Now. two weeks from now. Month. 3 days. 2 months. Until Thanksgiving.
Welcomed. Uncomfortable. Not Welcome. Awkward. Silence. Welcomed. Not Welcome.

Decisions, Decisions......

Words like thoughts

Since when is it hot to eat fried chicken?

Oh boy, Monday night came and I could barely sleep at all. I felt like a child at Christmas, except Tuesday was not Christmas. Clearly, Tuesday was Katelyn arrives in Atlanta day, which is just about as exciting as Santa coming down the chimney. When I saw her walk up the stairs, I ran to her, jumped up and down and hugged her. It was almost as if I hadn't seen my significant other in months and she finally came home. Although I do live in mid-town, she is not my significant other.

After a lovely drive on the highway, we proceeded to our apartment. First we had to make an important stop at Publix to show Katelyn my second home. There we bought snacks and BEER, of course. It was very hot, so we took Katelyn to the pool. The pool was lovely as ever. The bugs were floating around the entire pool and the stairs were covered in dirt, just how we like it, DIRTY!! However, the smell of Krispy Kreme did the fill the air. I had to hold Katelyn down because she really wanted to jump the fence to grab herself a doughnut hole. So we got a little darker, drank several beers and went inside. Then we went to RA for dinner, where we enjoyed 2 dolla sake, 4 dolla wine and half off sushi. Can you say bargain?

Eight o'clock rolled around and it was time for Jaime to go to bed ( she had to work in the am), so Katelyn and I proceeded to dance around the kitchen practicing our moves for the night to come. We ended up at this little " cottage club" called mood. Now, we say cottage club, because it was basically a house with club decorations. INTERESTING. It was 12 pm and Katelyn asked the bar tender where everyone was. He said, putting on make-up. Ok KAtelyn, we are NOT in NH anymore. Well, things were not that exciting to us, so naturally, we called a cab and headed to the Pink Pony. Lets just say I took one for the team to get a free cab ride (you all get your head out of the gutter). For those of you who don't know, the pink pony is a classy place where naked women do ballet on silver poles. It is quite artistic.

Shoot, we were unaware that at this dance studio we were supposed to have an endless supply of ones. Luckily some very nice lebanese men loaned us some dolla dolla bills. It was really exciting. Then we went home and went to bed.

Wednesday morning I knew it was going to be a GREAT day because some really nice man gave me and Katelyn a coupon for 20 percent off at IHOP. Like wow, could the day start any better? Lets just say Wendesday at the club was college night. There were a lot of young children dancing like hoes on stripper poles. I felt sort of like a mother wanting to pull their dresses down, but instead I just watched in amazement. I felt like such a cougar, 20 year old boys were loving my 22 years of age self. Now I know why cougars are cougars.


Thursday was fun too. We learned that it's sexy for a woman (in the south) to love wings. Men drool over women who eat wings. I think, unless they are drooling over the wings. Its like you the baddest B**** in the building when you are licking your fingers and chops while sweating eating hot hot wings. Wow, no wonder a lot of women in the south are HUGE. Im not mad about it though. Lord knows I love me some wings.

I also met this really nice man who came up with a rap for me. He said he was Big Sensai. He told me that he was not my mom or my dad-but he could be the best dude I ever had. It was really original and almost charming. I had to turn him down, but, I did agree with him on the fact that he was not my mother or my dad-very intelligent. And I also spoke with another gentleman who seemed to have eaten a shit sandwich for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Everytime he said a word I think a fly flew into his mouth.

To make a long story short-we had a good time. We ate,we drank and we were merry. Thanks to this week I need to hit the gym as much as bob marley used to hit the pipe. Now I remember what its like to have friends. Now I miss them!

Am I secretively a Feminist?

After going through some more documents, yes, I am bored, I found 2 more papers that wreaked of feminism. Did I take some feminist pills in college, or am I seriously a woman lover? Hell, I love myself, but I don't love many women. Especially the bleeps and the snoots.

The “Nifty Fifties”: An Era of Domestic Conformity

When most people think of the 1950s, they envision poodle skirts, happy families, Elvis Presley and the Civil Rights Movement. The 1950s was an era ruled by mass media that portrayed the 1950s as a time of new prosperity with consumerism and job growth and as a time of new peace with the idea of desegregation of schools. The depression was over and people began to spend more money while enjoying greater leisure time. Starting and maintaining a family became a task that all men and women were required to accomplish if they wanted to fit the role of the stereotypical, successful American. Although many people may recall the 1950s as being a period of growth and improvement, it was not like this for the entire American society. Women, especially, were stereotyped and forced to conform to the idealized gender roles created by the American society. This did not bring women a new era of peace and happiness, but rather a new era of stress and dissatisfaction.

In the 1950s, mass media played a major role in how people viewed society. Television shows, movies and magazines all portrayed the typical American family in the same way. Television shows like “I love Lucy” and “Father Knows Best” both featured middle-class, white American families with the working father and domestic mother. Because the American society was so preoccupied with the media and the lifestyles it portrayed, people felt the need to conform to such lifestyles in order to meet the standards seen in television and in movies. As a result, women were stereotyped and given a concrete, idealized role in society. The “independent career women of the 1940s were replaced by ‘dumb blondes’ and cute help mates (847).” By making women seem unintelligent in movies, the media constructed an image of women that made them inferior to men. Women were portrayed as perfectly put together mothers who loved to vacuum and take care of the children while the father went to work. Even if this was not the case, women felt the need to perform such tasks in order to be a significant part of society. This idea urged women to stay home to tend to their domestic duties.

Not only were women pressured by the media to conform to take on their ideal role, but they were also pressured by the people around them to conform to the role given to them by society. Many scholars like Dr. Benjamin Spock, urged women to stay in the home in order to provide warmth for the children. Scholars like Spock did not realize how stressful being a woman trapped in a domestic sphere could become. If men were considered superior to women, then they should have been capable enough to help tend to the housework and the children. However, in the 1950s this was not the case. Women were given the stress of making sure the house and the children were in order while also trying to keep their husbands happy. A woman’s role was to be a helpmate to her husband and a full time mother to her children (845). This left no room for women to do things for themselves. Women were so busy catering to their husbands they did not have time to stand up for their own rights and opinions.

Women were forced to give up their rights to listen to society preach domesticity. In one movie, an actress declared that “a woman is not a woman until she’s been married and had children (845).” People of the 1950s made marriage and children so important that if a woman wanted to work or have some free time she would have been ridiculed and looked at as somewhat unordinary. Society did not care if a woman was incapable of having children because no matter whom a woman was she needed to have children to be a “positive” influence on society. Society did not think about women’s inspirations or goals. Society made it clear that women were supposed to get married and have children. This made women feel useless and dissatisfied because they were not allowed to have goals or to follow their dreams. The only goals a women were allowed to have in the 1950s were to get married and to have children. Marriage was so glorified that it became stressful for women who were not married or did not have children by a certain age. Women in the 1950s had their lives planned out for them before they even became adults. Getting married and having children were the only two “accepted” life options for women.

Women went to school knowing they would become mothers and wives. Their teachers reinforced cooking and typing as activities suitable for women (845). Guidance counselors told women not to go to college because getting married was more important. Women pushed their dreams aside to rush into marriage. Women joked about getting their Ph.T (putting hubby through) instead of doing what they desired. The 1950s did not allow many opportunities for women, which made many women feel useless and dissatisfied. Society pushed the idea that women were only needed to complete domestic chores. Women who went to college were questioned on their motives because men did not need a “smart” girl. The fact that men “didn’t need a smart girl,” is a good example of the immense level of influence men had on women’s lives. Women of the 1950s were not allowed to live for themselves. Women never did things to fulfill their own dreams, but instead did things to fit the stereotypical role given to the women of the 1950s.

The 1950s can be considered an era of prosperity, peace and happiness for America as a whole; however, many people forget to remember the struggles that smaller groups, like women, had to overcome during the era. Women were unable to express themselves and it was not acceptable for women to step out of their domestic sphere. The 1950s was an era of idealized gender roles and domesticity. Even though America as a whole was growing and improving as war and the Great Depression ended, women were being negatively stereotyped. Women were expected to conform to the role that society had given them which led to several unhappy women looking for their purposes.

Talk About a Good Week

Talk about a good week. First of all, my best friend and confidant (stole those words from Luda-I guess I do speak in lyrics) is coming. Hallelujah! Are we about to have some fun? I think so. Second of all, I have a gyno appointment this week. Every woman knows how exciting that is. I cant wait for the doctor to ask me the most awkward questions while shes exploring my Victoria Ann Gellatly. hehe. THEN to top it off, Thursday I have an interview at 10 am. Thanks for scheduling an interview the week my crazy friend comes. But, they say third times a charm..and three very exciting things are happening this week. SO- I pray to my god-Usher Raymond-that OMG I will get a job.

Forced to revolt againts my favorite type of movies

Today I went through my files from college. I came across this woman's studies paper. I found it comical that I wrote all these negative thoughts about my favorite type of movies...chick flicks. I mean, I get all my good advice from these movies-if he doesn't call you, he's just not that into you. If you cant find a date to your ex's wedding, hire one. If you think you're fat, you probably are. If he pays you to be your date for a week, but then falls in love with you and finds you at your apartment right before you're about to pack up and leave for good, then you will probably live happily ever after. These are all truly realistic ideas and I think that everyone should take into consideration the messages that these movies portray! haha right?

How to Be a Woman

When she walks into the room, everybody stares at her beautiful face, painted with foundation and blush. She wears the finest clothes created by top designers, complimenting her perfect, flat stomach and perky breasts. Men flock to greet her and she has the ability to get whatever she wants. She is that woman that every other woman envies. Her face can be seen on the covers of hundreds of DVD’s, known as “chick flicks,” found in the homes of numerous ordinary women. However, these women are not average women that one would see walking down the street on a daily basis. These women are created and edited to fit an unrealistic standard. These women convey unattainable body images, a lifestyle that is unreal and a love life that is laced with lies.
Chick flicks, movies geared towards women, portray women in a way that most women cannot truly relate. Instead of creating movies that women can connect with, creators of the chick flick produce scenes that could never become reality for most women. The unattainable body images and spontaneous lifestyles that women in chick flicks portray are ideas that a majority of women dream about, but may never achieve. These ideas presented in chick flicks coax women into believing that there is only one type of woman that society accepts. If a woman is not thin, is not beautiful, and is not a sex object, chick flicks suggest that she is not the ideal woman. However, this is not true. This stereotype marginalizes the women who are not model skinny or conventionally beautiful, making the idealized images of women in such movies unrealistic and degrading.
The stereotypes that chick flicks create of women with beautiful faces and flawless bodies portray a small majority of women, creating an unrealistic reality that is being conveyed to women. In the movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Kate Hudson as the character Andee fits the chick flick mold perfectly. When the audience is first introduced to Andee, she is wearing a cute dress with stiletto heels, her skin is flawless and there is not a hair out of place. She is also extremely thin, and later in the movie the audience is reminded of how important it is for women to maintain a small frame. Michelle, Andee’s good friend, is also a tall, thin and beautiful woman. However, she has just been dumped by her boyfriend and blames it on being “too fat.” The fact that Michelle believes that the cause of her breakup is based upon her body implies that body image decides whether or not a woman is considered attractive. This reinforces “the importance of a thin body as a measure of a woman’s worth” (Beauty and Body Image in the Media 2). Instead of being praised for their minds, women in chick flicks are praised for their bodies. Because Michelle feels as though she was dumped because of her “fat” body implies that men only are attracted to women and their bodies, not their minds.
In chick flicks, the women that men are attracted to always depict the perfect body image, which is seen in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. When Ben, the heart throb of the movie, makes a bet with two of his women co-workers that he can make any woman fall in love with him, women who are not considered conventionally beautiful are made into a joke. The first woman that the co-workers choose for Ben is noticeably overweight. Ben says “come on you can do better than that” and his co-workers laugh. The fact that Ben and his co-workers joke about the overweight woman suggests that women who do have a little extra weight are not beautiful and could never obtain a relationship with a man. This implies that inner beauty is useless and that body image is everything. The second woman the co-workers choose lacks sense of style and is referred to as ugly,” which conveys the idea that having the latest fashion makes a woman attractive. When the co-workers finally choose a woman for Ben, they choose Kate Hudson who is tall, beautiful, blonde and thin. The fact that Ben will only consider the tall, thin and beautiful woman suggests that a woman who lacks such flawless qualities is not accepted. However, “media images of female beauty are unattainable for all but a very small number of women” (Beauty and Body Image in the Media 2). The stereotypically thin and beautiful women in chick flicks do not portray reality.
Complimenting their stereotypical body images, Kate Hudson’s character Andee and her friends have stereotypical careers. Andee and her friends work for a woman’s magazine called Composure, which is a magazine geared towards women. Andee and her co-workers show up to work every day in their bright and somewhat revealing clothing discussing the latest gossip. This, however, would not be acceptable in a real world business environment. Unlike the women from Composure, the women from the advertising company are dressed in structured, neutral colored suites. Compared to Andee and her co-workers, the two women from the advertising agency look more professional. Also unlike Composure, the advertising company’s boss was a man. The two women who worked for the man were dressed more “masculine” compared to the employees of Composure. The two women of the advertising company were referred to as “lips and hips” by the men of the company. This shows the superiority of the men of the company and the little respect that they have for women. “Women’s bodies are often dismembered into legs, breasts or thighs, reinforcing the message that women are objects rather than whole human beings” (Beauty and Body Image in the Media 2), which is demeaning to women.
To degrade women even more, Composure is a magazine that solely focuses on the latest fashion, diets, and plastic surgery because politics are not “fit” for women’s magazines. Andee, the “how to girl,” wants to write about foreign affairs and politics, but her boss will not let her. The fact that articles about politics and foreign affairs are not included in the magazine because it is a woman’s magazine conveys the idea that women are only interested in beauty and fashion. This is degrading to women because it insinuates that women are not intelligent enough to be aware of what is happening in the world. While Andee wants to write about intelligent things, she is only the “how to girl.” The “how to” articles that she writes do not convey positive messages or ideas to women. In fact, her own articles influence her own life in a negative way.
Not only do the messages that Composure present negatively affect the women characters of the movie, but they also negatively affect the real women audience. Andee’s article idea for “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” is supposed to inform women about how not to act when in a relationship. However, Andee’s actions toward Ben, the man she is trying to lose, suggest how women should not act in order to keep their men happy. By creating a relationship that is based upon lies, where Andee is using Ben for an article and Ben is using Andee to win a bet, the idea of a genuine relationship becomes improbable. The relationship between Andee and Ben suggests that relationships are a joke. Andee claims that men hate women who are “clingy” and “needy,” therefore; she over exaggerates these qualities. She even tells Michelle, her friend, that if she was not so “needy” she would not have been dumped. This implies that a woman should change her personality in order to cater to a man’s needs. If a woman does not act how the man expects her to act then he will not want to be with her. This is a negative message to send to women because if a man rejects her, it means that she is not good enough. This influences women to avoid being themselves around men.
Chick flicks that stereotype the ideal woman as being thin and beautiful make it difficult for women to overcome and reach such unattainable standards. Women who are average, intelligent and personable are being challenged by movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.Because chick flicks only portray one type of woman, women who do not fit the chick flick mold are being pushed aside and not taken seriously. Instead of inspiring the every day women, whoever that may be, chick flicks ignore the realities of being a woman in society. Not every woman is model thin. No woman has a flawless face. No woman should feel the need to change for a man. If chick flicks continue to stereotype women, the world will become filled with women who cannot love themselves or their bodies as they are.

LA Gayness...I mean, Fitness

Every woman's dream is to meet, or in my case, stare at hott sexy muscle heads at the gym. I live in mid-town, which is filled with beautiful (hmmm suspect) men. When I signed up for the gym, I thought hmmm, maybe I will meet my soul mate here. Eeeeeee Wrong.

The first day I walk into the gym, I see lots of muscular men. By my surprise, they smile and say good morning to me! Wow, things are looking good. I start strutting my stuff down the hall to the locker room thinking that adding a little booty shake to my walk (although, I may not have to try) , may add a little more appeal.

Reluctantly, I step on a treadmill. Damn, my shoes are dusty. Its been a minute since I have used them. I start looking around. Did the man next to me just do a side shuffle and a ballerina twirl on the treadmill? yes, yes he did. Not only is he dancing, but he is also singing. I mind my own business again. I look in front of me to the weight machines. Is that man wearing the same pants as me?!? and does his ass look better? yes, yes it does. Things are starting to look a little bit girly on the man front.

So, after working out on the treadmill I head to the butt machine. I am in the center of two very attractive men. Just when I think one might be staring at me, I notice that he is trying to look around me. Theres a man bent over on the other side...figures! DANG! Well, at least I know that if a man at the gym appears to be looking at me hes really looking at the man behind me.

Now when I go to the gym, its like walking into one big happy musical. All the men are happy and wear cuter gym clothes than me. Its normal for a man to be singing out loud on the treadmill or eliptical. It would not surprise me to see two men flirting or practicing ballet in the studio. I feel right at home. I've never seen/met so many men with so many things in common with me! If only I could find a straight one :)

Needless to say, when I leave the gym I am very happy. Whether its from the endorphins or all the gayness..I will never know. However, Im leading more towards the latter.





Disclaimer:
The name of this post is not meant to offend anyone because I love and accept all gay people (unless youre a crappy person). Heck, sometimes I wish I was gay!

Fact or Feminism?

Fact or Feminism?
Men think with their genitals


In college I took a woman's studies course. I am by no means an extreme feminist. However, I did agree with some of the things we talked about in class, such as: Women are amazing, Women are great, Women are smart, Women are beautiful (well, some of us) etc. etc.

Some of the things we talked about, like men ALWAYS degrade women, and men will say ANYTHING to get in your pants because men think with their genitals did not strike me as 100% accurate. I mean come on, not ALL men are the same, not ALL men want to get in your pants. I mean there are gay men in this world.

So, let me get to the point. After moving to Atlanta I believe "all men think with their genitals" to be FACT.

I don't know if its the water or the fried chicken, but men in the south are VERY forward. I have never been called hunny, sweetie, gorgeous, beautiful, mami, sexy, and Im sure I am missing a few, by so many strangers in my life.

I step out the gym, sweat dripping from my forehead, t-shirt drenched, no make-up and I hear "hey mami!" Gross.''

Publix is my favorite place ever, which makes sense because that's where I buy my food and wine. One day I'm walking through the store...looking fine as hell. My hair not done, sweat pants on with my pink UNH sweatshirt. Fine as hell right? I hear "Damn girl, you are gorgeous." I keep walking. Wow, I must be looking good today. I hear again "Damn girl, you are gorgeous." HA, I know silly, you already told me. I turn around and see a girl around my age walking behind me.
Well, I guess men WIlL say anything to get into your pants. Obviously I would love to give him the time of day after I heard him tell the girl behind me she was gorgeous too. I mean, come on!

Men think with their genitals
Fact or Feminism?---------> FACT

Skinny Friends with FKA

So, my roommate is skinny with FKA. For those who do not know..FKA=fat kid activities.

My entire life I struggled with having skinny friends that enjoy FKA. I am not naturally skinny. Working out, as much as I want it to be my enemy, has to be my friend. If I want a slice of pizza, I have to be prepared to run a mile or two. Whereas most of my friends eat pizza and consider using the remote control as exercise. So why the heck are they still skinny?

So, tonight I made peppers stuffed with corn meal, onions, garlic and tomatoes. Worst decision in life. I sat there for 20 minutes stirring that cornmeal...and i thought to myself, wow that looks disgusting. So, when I served my skinny roomie wine and cornmeal peppers..she got excited! YAY, were going to be skinny!! She took one bite, looked at me and said..WOW, we are ordering wings!

Needless to say, I am happy for her FKA. As much as being a Freagan sounds fun....Id rather indulge in fried chicken-hence the size of my booty.

In conclusion...I love my friends and their FKA's

Decisions, Decisions

A year ago, this time, one of the biggest decisions I had to make was should I hit snooze one more time, go to class and learn something valuable? Or, should I just sleep through class and not learn anything at all? Easy decision right? Obviously I chose not to learn anything at all.

Fast Forward a year, to NOW. Decisions have become more complicated-this is REAL life stuff. Here it is..... To EAT or not to EAT that is the question?

So my extra sweet father told me he would never let me starve. Thanks dad, I could use to drop a few pounds though. So do I suffocate myself with food or drown myself in wine? I could spend my money on food and be fat and happy. OR, I can spend my money on wine which will make me happy, fat and have a good BUZZ--seems like an easy decision. But, I assure you it is not. Not for me. Not for someone that loves food and alcohol like Tiger Woods loves hoes.

Now, on a more serious note. Mom, this is me NOT being serious, but DRAMATIC-typical. So, when you are writing up my next "to do" list, please do not add ATTEND AA classes.

Woe is Me: Life of a starving (not yet, thanks to dad) recent grad

So, here I am just living the dream! Remote control to my right, ice cream to my mouth, The Kardashians up close and personal...who could ask for anything more?

About 2 months ago, the couch and some ice cream could not sound any better! When I had a job, I spent my time being a servant to elderly people that considered lobster eggs to be a delicacy and acted as if giving 10% tips was like signing their will over. I never though I would miss getting scolded at in regards to the blue cheese only having 2 chunks in the entire portion cup, or getting blamed for serving under cooked meat ( because, not only did I serve their food...but I also cooked it!), or getting asked questions like "did you get these lobsters from the lake over there?" HA HA you are so funny sir, yes, I got these sea creatures just for you in the LAKE-some people are so funny (can you sense my sarcasm?)

At this point, I realize that everything in life is a Catch 22. I like sitting on my a** being lazy when I have a job, but when I don't have a job, sitting on my a** being lazy gets old.

So here I am, just living the dream. I Moved to Atlanta- city of strip clubs, dance clubs and gays. If only it was the city of employment.

I am now contemplating standing on the side of Ponce De Leon with all the other Mexicans to see if I can pick up some side work. Yo hablo espanol..and I am pretty tan.
Stripping....shawty you s(TRIPPING)- There is NO WAY I would ever be able to lift my entire body up on that pole! If I could, we may be in business.

Moral of the story-Not having a job is NOT that fun.