The Art of "Sexting"

WARNING-this is rated R


Before I start discussing this ever so controversial topic, I want to let it be known that I, Victoria Gellatly, have NEVER participated in such behaviors. I have, however, been on the receiving end.


What is sexting? According to urban dictionary.com, sexting is when a guy and a girl send dirty text messages back and forth to each other. Pictures may also be included, but only if you are lucky.

For most people, sexting most commonly occurs after a certain hour. After a few shots of tequila, a couple beers and a few vodka soda waters, the art of sexting can be practiced professionally by most teens, young adults and by some grown ass men and women.

There a couple types of sexting that I will be discussing.
Type 1: booty call sexting

For those of you who do not know, sexting usually starts when the liquor has got you feeling good. When you leave the house you think you look alright, but when you're out after a few drinks you think you look like Beyonce. So, you start sending texts like "hey baby" and "what u doing right now" to multiple attractive people in your phone in hopes of at least one reply back. All you really want is a late night rendezvous or a date to waffle house. Then when all 3 of the 20 people you texted get back to you, you can take your pick. I'd personally go with the one who would take me out to waffle house, watch me eat like 3 pancakes, 2 eggs, bacon, homefries and the leftovers from his plate. Then, I would miraculously have no money to pay for all that food and he would have to pay for it. After all that eating, he still wants to desperately take me home. (If he gets there, does that make the breakfast he paid for an equal exchange? Does that make me a prost....never mind). Then there are the guys that will text you at 2 am..."what are you doing?" "Do you want to cuddle?". Who the hell wants to cuddle at 2 am?! At 2 am Im trying to sleep. LADIES-if he says he wants to cuddle at 2 am-HES LYING. Cuddling is code for you know what! If you think he wants to cuddle at 2 am, you might as well be naked when you answer the door.

Type 2: Plain old sexting

Plain old sexting is the act of text messaging someone in the hopes of having sexual encounter with them later; initially casual, transitioning into highly suggestive and even sexually explicit (urbandictionary.com). AKA-phone sex without the talking. Look how far technology has brought us today. It allows us to send mail more efficiently, pay bills from the comfort of our own homes, keep in touch with long lost friends through video chatting AND most importantly, it allows us to have S"text"ual conversations via the cell phone. Personally, I dont get sexting. Whats the point of typing to someone "you have nice breasts, send me a picture." Its funny because half the things that are said over sexting would never be mentioned in "real life." Doesn't that make for an awkward next outing or hang out session? Can you imagine sitting on the couch saying "I like your breasts" "Do you like touching nipples?" -Nope, never going to happen. Sexting allows us to say things to people that we would never say in real life.

So, how do we practice safe sexting? Let your mouth and not your fingers do the talking.

F**** Bitches, Get Money

I want to share the ever so amusing quote my best friend just posted on her facebook wall:

"To all my ladies out there who b datin Ben Franklin, George Washington, Abe Lincoln...you'll be better off in life. Get that money."

Like I used to do in my AP english class, I am about to dissect and analyze the language that is used in this quote to interpret its meaning.

To start off, I would like to point out that yes, this quote can be interpreted as coming from someone who is by definition a "gold digger." To clarify, a gold digger is "A bitch trying to weasel you out of your cheddar" and or " a person who goes out with you fo yo money." Big shout out to Urbandictionary.com for the clarification. This can be assumed based on the line "who be datin Ben Franklin, George Washington, and Abe Lincoln." The presidents' names symbolize money. The fact that the ladies are "dating" these "dead presidents pictured on money" could mean that the ladies are dating men solely for their cheddar, cash money, dolla bills, stacks, racks-whatever you want to call it. When the quote states "you'll be better off in life, get that money," it suggests that yes, money does indeed buy happiness. I will not 100 percent disagree. Like my momma always said, "Its just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is to fall in love with a poor man." Now, fellas-I am not trying to say that money is everything, but potential is everything. If you are sitting at home playing video games, eating ramen noodles and drinking orange soda, you are NOT for me.

However, this quote can be interpreted in an entirely different way. Where the quote states"datin Ben Franklin, George Washington, Abe Lincoln," it could also be interpreted as meaning make you're own goddamn money. Because despite contrary belief, money DOES buy happiness. I know first hand-money buys me shoes, clothes, food, alcohol AND everything else in life that makes me HAPPY! "You'll be better off in life," if you worry more about making that money than trying to get that money from a man. Amen---

To SUM it all up. A wise man,Notorious B.I.G, once said F*** Bitches, GET MONEY!