Men

I am really trying to figure out the male species. So I've broken them down a little bit to help you ladies learn what to stay away from.

Genus:

The Manipulator:Usually a great liar. Able to turn everything around on you. Charming and has some amazing sweet talking skills. Best Actors.

The Sneak: Tells you hes going to the opera, but really hes going to the strip club. When he texts "Alex" it's really Alexandra. Like shaggy said, "Wasn't me!"

Mr. Know It All: You can never get a word in. He knows everything, even when he is wrong. Only pro is that you'll never have to answer any question you're unsure of, he'll do it for you.

Master Man: Its his way or the high way. Where are you going? What are you doing? Who are you with? Get me a soda! Hell to the NO

Lazy Larry: Probably still living on his parents couch. Tells you he has been looking for a job forever while he sits there playing video games. Tries to bum a few dollars off of you. Always forgets his wallet.

Mister Wife Beater:Plain and Simple-Beats bitches up mentally and physically.

Mr.Popular: Usually thinks you are lucky for being with him. Has 9000 friends and no time for you. Chooses fist pumping with the boys over being with his girl.

A few other things to watch out for:

There is no such thing as a cool geek. If hes a geek, he probably lacks some serious social skills.

I don't care if he has money. If he has to use viagra, it will never work. He's too old.

If he talks about his body more than he talks about his friends and family, chances are you will probably never make top 10 on his list.

If he calls his mom before he makes every decision, he loves his momma TOO much.

If he wants to have a little fun with you AND your girl friend-he is probably a swinger and has herpes.

If he tells you he dabbles in a few professional fields, he probably does not have a job or is a drug dealer.

If he is married. He cheats on her, he'll cheat on you.

Its better to be SINGLE than to SETTLE!

New Apartment Fever.

So, Jaime and I moved into the new apartment this weekend. How groovy is that? We started moving our stuff out in Friday. We threw everything in random trash bags, transported the bags to the car and then dumped them all over the new apartment. Needless to say, our apartment looked like a bomb hit it in the first 5 minutes of dropping stuff off. At least we got a work out. Damn, some of those bags were heavy.

After all the hard work, I had to go to work. However, after work, an exciting night out was planned. I mean, Jaime and I already worked too hard earlier that day. So, we gathered some girls up and headed out for a fun filled night at Sutra. There we met lots of guys, which equaled lots of free shots and drinks. We had planned on just a few drinks because the next day we had to move all the big stuff out of the old the apartment. Woops, change of plans.

I wake up the next morning startled. Shoot, it was 9:45. We were supposed to get the Uhaul at 10. Who has a head ache? I have a head ache. Who will drive the Uhaul? Neither of us. Thank god for Jaime's friend Josh, who not only moved every single heavy item out of our apartment, but also drove the Uhaul for us. Jaime and I made for some good managers though. We complained about being tired. We complained about having head aches. We complained about wanting to be done. Yet, at this point I think we each may have moved one chair into the Uhaul truck. Good thing we had bought 47 beers for ALL of our one friend who came to help us move. Oh well, more beer for us.

7 months without a real bed has made me realize how thankful I am for real beds. I am so thankful, that I spend as much time as I can in it. I feel like Pinochio, but instead of being a real boy, I have a real bed!

Lesson learned: Next time hit up Ponce De Leon for some Mexicans to help us move.