The Trials and Tribulations of a Day in the Life of a Server

I could write a book on the bull shit that a server has to go through on a daily basis. Six years (almost 7) in the restaurant industry has made me realize a few things about the world:
1. people are assholes
2. being a servant sucks

As a tribute to almost 7 years of being in the service industry, I have decided that my next few blogs will be dedicated to describing some pretty hilarious/awful experiences that I have dealt with in the past years as a server.

"Happy Hour"

Whoever invented happy hour must have been on drugs! Happy hour makes me anything but happy. I spend 3.5 hours busting my ass for cheap ass people who give lousy effin tips. 3:30 arrives and the vultures start piling in. It usually starts off slow and steady- A few tables here and there. Then 6:15 hits and everyone comes at once. Now, when you think of happy hour, you think of business men and women coming in after a long day of work to unwind, relax and enjoy a beverage or two. ERRRRRRR wrong. When I think of happy hour I think of a bunch of broke ass people trying to get themselves a few cheap drinks and a bite to eat for cheaper than a meal at McDonalds or Wendys.

Once the rush hits, people start snapping there fingers at you and waving there hands. Sometimes I swear people think we have 8 hands. People start asking how many tacos come with the $1.95 fish taco. "One." "WOW, only ONE." How many tacos do you think you get for $1.95. My favorite is when people come to happy hour for a full course meal. "We will have the spinach dip for an appetizer and the hamburgers for a meal...MAKE SURE THEY DONT COME OUT ALL AT ONCE." At this point we usually have about 15 tables that sat all at once-you'll be lucky to get ANY of the food that you ordered.

Today we had a table with a bill of a little less than $30 at happy hour. Big Spendas, Big Spendas! They gave us $30, so we gave them back .77 hoping that they would give us more money as a tip. I walk by and hear the lady say "Well, I don't have any more cash, but at least she will get something." I see her put $2 in the book. She took the .77. REALLY? I wanted to run back and say, KEEP THE CHANGE YOU FILTHY ANIMAL, YOU NEED THIS MORE THAN ME (obviously.)

Disclaimer---If you go out to dinner REMEMBER that your servers make $2.75 an HOUR. We RELY on your tips for our INCOME. If you can't afford to tip AT LEAST 15%-Dont even bother going out. Your cheap ass will be talked about FOREVER.