Ok. I know I talk about butts a lot, but I am still trying to figure out why my bootylicious rump is such a spectacle. I know you like big butts and you cannot lie, but PLEASE, lie to me. Tell me its small-just make me feel good. If you didn't notice-I AM WHITE. Big butts are not accepted in this world-especially not butts of my caliber!
So, the other night I went to a club. Apparently a very safe club because everyone entering had to be patted down. The lady starts at my shoulders and works her way down (mind you, I didnt have much on to hide guns and knives in). She gets to my butt-gives it a little feel (yes, it is big, but no, I am not hiding anything in there), looks at me and says "IS THAT REAL?" Um, is what real? She looks at me like I just said something stupid, "You're BUTT!!" I go uh, yah-it's real. Thank you Taco Cabana and Bud Light ;) She Then proceeds to call the bouncer over-"HEY! Her butt is REAL!" He looks over in SHOCK. Um. HI! I am standing right here. I think I am going to start charging a fee. A buck a booty.
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